Abstract: In the context of individualization, as child care requires a lot of time and energy, it inevitably leads to the reduction of caregivers' ability to "live for themselves".Through the content analysis of the parenting module of the Small Wood Worm discussion forum, the research finds that for the professional and technical personnel just starting work not long ago, they and their father generation both have the desire to "live for themselves", but its realization is limited by both resources and Confucian culture.If "children generation live unilaterally for themselves", "old people live unilaterally for themselves" or"they use different ways to live for children" while sharing child-rearing responsibilities,there will be intergenerational conflicts inevitably.If children generation and parents can change from "living for themselves" to "living for us", a good intergenerational relationship can be estalished.This "living for us" shift may be based on an emotional foundation that "blood is thicker than water", the expectation of reciprocity between child-rearing and the elderly supporting afterwards, or just on account of not having adequate child-rearing resources.As the responsibility of parenting is also a kind of life politics, and the insufficient responsibility taking of subjects outside the family will inevitably squeeze the space for family members to choose their lifestyle,the state and other social subjects should share more burden of child care, thus reducing the burden of family members, to increase their capacity to choose more colorful life style and promote family development.